Want.

I want to know how to bake really clever things like “red velvet peppermint brownie truffles”. I want to regularly use the word “clever” without looking like I’m trying to hard to use the word clever, because I think it adds some type of intrigue to my odd persona. I want to go to London. I want to go everywhere. I want to meet The Doctor. And by that I  mean the real life doctor obviously, not the actors, it’s just not the same thing. Obviously. I want to own really nice clothes. I want to marry a British man without having to figure out things like: “what country would we raise our kids in?” and “should we celebrate the 4th of July?”. I want to work in movies. And honestly, so long as my British husband is a barrister or something, I wouldn’t mind being a low paid assistant to someone and just do odd jobs and bring people coffee, excuse me, tea. Because honestly I love odd jobs, and I love coffee/tea. I want Pinterest to be real life real. I want to have time to do everything. I want to live in the sorority house and in London at the same time. I’m still trying to work out that one. I want to spend next fall in London with Kate Daniels. because that would be the best semester of my life most likely. I want Sherlock to come back. And I want John to not be sad anymore. I want to get an A on that Italian test I took today but let’s be honest… I want to own lots of movies and television shows. I want to not have that weird people out. I also want that not to make me an unsociable weirdo. I want a boyfriend. I want some type of direction in my life besides “just go live in a big city somewhere on nothing in a tiny little flat for a couple of years and love every poor second of it” because while that is a wonderful early-to-mid twenties plan, I need something after that. I want to figure out when I need to start acting my ages. How do 20 year olds act? I feel like I’m seven so I don’t think I’m doing it right. I want people to stop asking me what exactly I think my degree will get me. I get it. I’m a liberal arts major. But seriously sir. I’m a woman. I can just get married. Done. Alsooo, I may not know what I want to do, but I know what I like being around, and if I am an International Arts and Culture and History double major by gosh I’m going to end up with something you’ve never heard of, that I have probably never heard of, but gosh by golly, at least I know it will direct me to things I enjoy living in! Sorry. An old man accosted me about that the other day. I really just wanted to look him dead in the eye, and with a smile and all the sticky sweet venomous southern smiley sass just say “Oh my degree doesn’t mean anything. I’m just there to get married anyway.” Which isn’t true. Obviously. But seriously. I get it. I’m in a bum department. I enjoy doing quirky things. I want to keep doing quirky things. And I want to go to London. Done.

What the heck am I doing with my life?

Ok. At the moment I am an International Arts and Culture major, applying to double major in history (which I’ve been assured I’ll be approved for) with the intention of going into a career in museum work and the like. But then….about 36 hours of British television and 6 Sherlock interviews later  my sick twisted masochistic brain was like “hey! you should be majoring in Comm and do research for like BBC or the history channel!” and then my other brain was all “ELLEN STOP THIS IS RIDICULOUS” “NO ITS NOT YOURE GOING INTO LIBERAL ARTS ANYWAY YOU AREN’T EVER GOING TO EARN A LIVING” ‘BUT IT’S SO MUCH WORK!” “BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO MARRY RICH”

and now I don’t have any freaking idea on Earth as to what I’m doing with my life. I can go into International Communication and History. But lose the Arts and Culture part. Or I can minor in communication and never graduate. And then with International Studies I have to study abroad but Surprise! I have to go for 10 weeks in a non english speaking country so there goes interning somewhere. So I could do Comm and History. But asdklfasdkjfhalsdkfjhasdfjkasd;fj

I need to stop thinking sometimes.

Because also I don’t actually think I want anything to do with entertainment because that’s suicidal

But also I just have to marry rich.

And also that’s a total lie because if I could do absolutely anything with life I would do historical research and fact checking for movies and end up meeting Rupert Grint.

But let’s be honest….I’m a Lib Arts major. I will go wherever there is possibly a job. I will change careers like…four times. My degree will honestly not really mean a whole lot except to tell people I’m not a lazy bum and that I like being creative and reading things.

I hate my life.

I need a rich boyfriend.

thanks and gig em
Ellie

*and now that I finished this. and read it a few times. forgotten about it. read it again. read the job oppenings at the Sherlock Holmes museum. I really just think about how nice it would be to curl up there, work there, let my rich fantasticly handsome husband take care of me, and be done with it all.
Oh what is my life. Why can’t I just get paid and famous and meet famous people by being a super cultured and pop culutred housewife?*

I love…

I love (and despise) reading some of the old posts (mostly the ones concerning one person who I have a few choice words for). I was ridiculous. But for posterity’s sake they must remain…

MORE POSTS EVERYONE. OUR CHILDREN MUST KNOW ALL ABOUT US.

Government 206

3:49 pm

Well. I’m in government. There are eleven people in this class. I get bored hopelessly easily in this class so I brought my computer. Unfortunately…with eleven people in this class, only typing every three minutes but staring at the computer screen for 75 minutes is rather noticeable. So. I’m probably going to post like….a ton of notes. Here goes….

4:10

Well I posted a post about how stupid loneliness is in college. It’s stupid. I was really lame at the beginning of the year. Anyway. This is me pretending to take notes on medicare. or maybe its medicaid….I dunno. Either way I’m not paying attention. Hmmm…Taco night at my dorm tonight 😀 yummmmmm

Oh hey so when we get back home we’re all putting our old prom dresses on and going out to eat one saturday night. It’ll be prom season and no one will be the wiser…. 😀

Better

Alright.

I feel better.

I just needed to let him know that I’m sort of scared and nervous. I want it to work out so badly but I need to be sure I’m taken care of. Basically we’re fine. We might need to think on it a while longer or try a little harder, but for the moment its allll good 🙂

I told him that I need to look out for myself, that I do care and I would like it to work out, but I’m basically a grown up and need to look for someone to be my partner and take care of me in the future. I said it doesnt mean now, I just have to know that it would work out that way. So we’re fine, still working things out, but we’re fine.

Geeze growing up is weird.

haha. So we’re good at the moment

Thanks and Gig Em

Ellie

St. Valentine’s Day

For this rant, I would like to express how much I love St. Valentine’s Day.

I love it. I absolutely love it. It’s my second favorite holiday, the first being Christmas, almost out of obligation…. it’s not because I’ve had a fantastic magical Valentine’s Day expierence in the past, because, to be honest I haven’t. Last year, the first time I had a boyfriend at the time, he had to work and I was gone that weekend, so if I remember correctly we went out for dinner at Outback the Thursday before. Anyway, I think I love Valentine’s Day for the absolute romatisism of the idea of that magical perfect Valentine’s day. It’s almost like, absolutely anything can possibly happen on V-Day. Absolutely anything.

I think we all know that I’m not outwardly…emotional? I’m a romantic in my head, but when I think in real life terms I tend to be more rational than romantic. I think it’s a control thing, I might think that maybe if I’m emotional I can be walked all over. But anyway… Valentine’s Day, is basically the day that I can be absolutely romantic and emotional and not really worry about it. You don’t have to be in a relationship to love the holiday, I figured that out ages ago.

About that… It really really bothers me when people talk about calling it Singles Awareness Day…I mean honestly, I get it…you don’t have a date. Sucks to be you. But you are given the chance to be lovey for a day instead of sad sulky and single! Why not take advantage of it! Watch a sappy movie and celebrate that idea of love! Celebrate the fact that one day somebody is going to love you! Gosh people frustrate me sometimes! I mean honestly! You can sulk around and be bitterly single any other day of the year! Just give the romantic single people or the romantic people that don’t get the  chance to be around the one they love, a day to be happy! Gosh Darnit! Valentine’s Day is the one day that absolutely anything can happen because it a day that every person on the planet can be the hopeless romantic that they secretly want to be! You don’t have to be in a relationship and you don’t have to be with that person, you just to have a little faith and enjoy the holiday 🙂

Would you read this post any differently if I had told you at the begining that Luke asked me out again last night? ; )

cause he did : )
Boy I love Valentine’s Day 😀

♥ ellie

Rebound?

Pros and Cons

Pro: He miiiight possibly be jealous
Con: He might not be
Pro: It’ll be….a boy….and I do like boys….
Con: I don’t date just to date
Pro: I’ll have another boy to text when I feel like texting Luke
Con: I still want Luke to come around

Why I love Country Music

So. I don’t consider myself country in any way. At all. But I do tholoughly enjoy country music. And… I mean, this isn’t the ONLY reason that I love country music…..but…I’m listening to this song on pandora called Must be Doin’ Somethin’ Right, and I was reminded about this fact. The men who sing country songs (MEN mind you. they are REAL MEN sounding) can LITERALLY sing WHATEVER they want and they still can sound soooo classy. Like…this song…

A woman is mystery A man just can’t understand
Sometimes all it takes to please her Is the touch of your hand
And other times you gotta take it slow
And hold her all night long
Heaven knows there’s so many ways A man can go wrong

[Chorus:] Must be doin’ something right
I just heard you sigh
You leaned into my kiss
And closed those deep blue need you eyes
Don’t know what I did To earn a love like this, but baby,
I must be doin’ something right

Anywhere you wanna go Baby, show me the way
I’m open to suggestions Mmm, whatever you say
Tonight’s about giving you  What you want,
whatever it takes Girl,
I hope I’m on the right road
And judging by the smile on your face
I must be doing something right

[Repeat Chorus]
Ah, Baby Mmm…
I don’t know what I did
To earn a love like this, but baby,
I Must be doin’ something right
Must be doin’ something right

I mean like….honestly….they pretty much come out and tell you what they mean and they still sound super classy! Ok you have to listen to it…but seriously….they’re so freaking attractive and its just their voices and their words. I love it. So much. They’re so….gentlemanly sexy. Its freaking attractive. And you KNOW they can dance. And they just sound so……classy…and manly….and attractive….alright I need to stop. I just….I love it……

Plans

Well. As you all know, I am presently in the process of officially transferring to my own school as a full time student. I mean it’s not a big deal. I 4.0ed….can they NOT take me? Anyway I digress. The big deal here is that I have to declare a major, as the loverly A&M no longer offers General Studies. So. Big Question #1-

What do I want to do when I grow up and how do I go about doing that.

Here is the present plan. Career wise. This isn’t taking into account the whole…family thing. Bt that involves boys and at the present moment I am quite angry with them. ANWAY. I want to like…work in a museum. I think. I mean I love them. And if I’m going to have a job I might as well be around something I love, right? I want to go overseas and work in like, England, or France or somewhere and work through a masters in something. So I think I’m going to be a history major right? Well see I’ve been toying around with the idea of a degree in International Relations. And like, international relations at a museum or some agency. Like…a really classy international tour guide/ event coordinator. I dunno. Maybe I’ll stick with being a history major and get my minor in languages as planned. Maybe I can double major….it seeeems like a ton of work though. ALAS.  I’ll look into it though. I basically just want to fly around the world and see things. That’s pretty much it. And then settle down. (relatively)

Oh gee, what to do what to do. It’s times like these that I wish I was a man and didn’t have this stupid biological clock. Also. Men don’t need to go on maternity leave or stuff like that. Then I remember that I can wear pretty dresses and have someone carry me and it makes me feel better.

OOOH…with a degree in international relations I can plan cruises and stuff….that sounds fun….Well. I think the codeine is finally wearing off. I’ll be back later with a real, daily journal type post.

-Ellie

Boy Part 2- David

Boy- Well he came by my room actually, to check in. He’s tall and sweet. A little awkward and I carried the conversation but that’s alright. Well. He’s nice enough, cute enough. But…. I mean….. no pity….but come on…hes no Lukas. WHAAATEVS. I think he tried to invite me to his birthday party. We’ll see where it goes….oh and his name is David Ramsey